Real Women

You know, lately I've been thinking a lot about "real women" and how they are portrayed by the world, by books, and even by Disney. Not "real women" as in have you had your period yet, but more like what women should look like and the things they should aspire to. This, I know, can be a touchy topic and my goal is not to rant, but rather to uplift. 

Now I know everyone has heard it up to their ears about how magazines touch up pictures  to the point of non-recognition, and that a size 0 model is the way to be. And obviously there are a very few of us that actually look like that (and for those of you that do, congratulations! I'm sure there are things about your figure that are difficult to deal with too, or maybe not. Either way I'm sure you're tired of hearing about these kinds of things). The only thing I have to say about that is that it's unrealistic for every woman and girl to aspire to this way of being. There are different body types and that doesn't change with diet and exercise. For instance, I am a Spaniard and with that comes a set of full thighs and bottom. I used to resent those qualities when I was a teenager, but I have come to not only accept but also love them (on most days) as a token of my culture and family history. Plus it's easier to love them when I know my husband does. And always remember, you are your own worst critic. Those things you may hate about yourself might be someone's favorite thing about you!

For those of you who may not know, I just had my first baby -  a precious little girl. As such I have spent a lot of my time reading pregnancy and postpartum books. I learned a lot of helpful information about what my body was going through, and what it would be going through. I was very grateful for these books and the knowledge they imparted to me. I was also surprised (though I probably shouldn't have been) on the amount of time spent in these books on the topic of getting back to your pre-pregnancy shape. Now, obviously it's important to be healthy through and after a pregnancy (and always) especially if you plan on breastfeeding, and obviously that will include losing some of that weight you gained, but the way these books pushed the topic crossed the healthy line into the vanity zone. This is only compounded by the latest talk of Kate Middleton and her appearing out of the hospital with (who would of thought!) a rounded, bloated post pregnancy belly. Why? people asked... because she JUST HAD A BABY FOR PETE'S SAKE! Many people spoke out about this and how it was ridiculous that the media even cared - good for you! 

Personally, as I went through my pregnancy I told myself over and over again that my body would never be exactly the same again and I was ok with that. Stretch marks aside (because sometimes they make me feel unattractive) I really am not upset with my post-pregnant body. It's shaped a little bit differently, but that's ok. Sometimes I wish I could get a new wardrobe though, because the only time I feel badly about my body is when clothes don't fit me correctly. But that's OK! My body is now a mother's body, it functions differently than it did before and to do that, it has to look a little bit different. What a worthy sacrifice: in order to bring a child into this world, your body will be a little different afterwards. Let's celebrate that!! 

So, the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch recently arrived on Netflix instant streaming and it made me think back and remember the first time I saw it when I was a kid. I remember that through much of the movie I had an internal battle going on in my mind about whether the older sister  Nani Pelekai was really beautiful or not (shame on me!). She certainly didn't look like any of the other Disney princesses I knew; why, she looked more like ME! I thank the makers of this movie for making the beautiful older sister that you look up to look more like me than the other Disney princesses, for making her look like a real woman with hips and a butt and a belly that can actually hold all the necessary human organs inside of it! 

In the end, every woman is different - embrace that! Be as much you as you can be. Don't aspire to look like someone else, because genetics makes that impossible! Aspire to be healthy, embrace your body, and be happy.

Ok, maybe that was a little bit of a rant... Sorry!

Olivia's Birth Story

A triumphant return! So it's been a couple months -- I guess having a baby'll do that to ya. But I have now returned and my life has been turned upside down in the best way there is.

OLIVIA WAS BORN!

Olivia Renee Allred was born on July 10th 2013 at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. She was 6 lbs 14 oz and 19.5 inches long. This blog post will be all about how our precious little girl came into this world and joined our little family.

Well, first I'll have to travel back to the Saturday before Olivia was born. My mom and I had been talking about ways to get labor moving along because she wanted to spend some time with Olivia before she had to fly back home. She told me stories about how her five kids came along. One thing I thought was too funny was that when she was pregnant with both my older brother and me, she went into labor shortly after watching an Audrey Hepburn movie. Later that night I was having some dull pain in my stomach. Of course, this being my first pregnancy, I really had no idea what a contraction felt like. Looking back, I know they were very small beginning contractions. I shrugged them off at first. Well, the night was young and Bryce, my mom, and I were looking for a source of entertainment. We have netflix and decided, "Hey let's check out this Katy Perry movie everyone spoke so highly of." As the movie progressed I realized (kind of) that I was having more pain in my stomach. I was really unsure of myself so I told my mom what I was feeling. She suggested to time them to see how close they were coming. Could Katy Perry be my Audrey Hepburn? 

I was still really unsure of myself, especially in if I was timing them correctly. In my perfect labor fantasy, I always imagined my water would just break so I wouldn't have to worry about all this timing junk! Well after about half an hour of hesitant timing, we realized the contractions were coming about three minutes apart. So, we gathered all of our prepacked bags and jumped into the car (well, I waddled). Bryce admitted, "This is nothing like I imagined driving to the hospital would be." He imagined driving in the middle of the night with me screaming in pain, but the contractions weren't very painful and the drive was pretty peaceful. 

Well, we arrived at the hospital and after a brief moment of paperwork (thank goodness for preregistration!) we were admitted into a room. 

I changed into one of their oh-so-flattering hospital gowns and they checked me to see if I was really in labor. At the start I was dilated to 3 cm. In the duration of my 4-hour stay, my contractions came to be closer together (about a minute and a half apart) and much, MUCH more painful. I remember crying as I pleaded with my mom, "They're not gonna send me home, are they?" She didn't believe they would since I was freaking contracting EVERY MINUTE. Yet, at the end of 4 hours I was still dilated at 3 cm. Practice labor. Practice labor they called it! I don't think that's something someone needs to "practice" for. The nurse came in with the news that they would be sending me home with a shot of morphine. As soon as the nurse left I started bawling! I could not believe I could be in so much pain and not be progressing - not getting any closer to having my baby girl in my arms. Although, my dramatic spells of tears certainly slowed once I got the morphine shot. They wheeled me out of the hospital and as the pain faded I was able to fall asleep. 

So, Katy Perry isn't my magic labor kick start button -- but walking is! Friday evening the day before I actually went into "real" labor, my mom, Bryce, and I went on a long, brisk walk at Bridal Veil Falls. You know, my real labor was actually a lot more like my perfect labor fantasy than my practice labor was. Saturday morning/early afternoon, July 10th, I was getting dressed for my OBGYN appointment (really upset that I actually still had those to go to) and my water broke! So not only did I not have to worry about counting contractions, but labor started during the day time! (In the back of my mind I was worried about laying down to go to sleep and then labor starting when I was tired and spent from a day of pregnancy). Once again we all loaded all of our bags into the car and Bryce exclaimed, "Well, this is even less like I pictured driving to the hospital would be." It was bright and sun-shiney outside and we were happily (yet admittedly nervously) listening to the radio. 

Soon enough we were admitted to a room again. My water was breaking slowly so they were able to check my amniotic fluid there. They found out that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid and that could pose a health risk to the baby (Oh great! Like that's what I needed to hear!) So they called for the NICU personnel to be ready when Olivia was delivered. I was dilated a little over 3 cm. about 45 minutes later I was dilated to a 6. The nurse said I had a very favorable cervix, which is probably one of the most meaningful compliments I've ever gotten (at least it meant a lot to me then, because I was in major pain and anything favorable was a godsend). In fact, during my labor there was a shift change in the nurses and the second nurse thought they had me on pitocin and thought they should take me off. The first nurse assured her it was just my own labor progress. While I was a 6 cm I had the incredible urge to push - I'm sure it was the bearing down I had read about in all the numerous pregnancy/labor books. I told the nurse about the pain and the urge. She said that I was not ready for the pushing stage yet, so they gave me the epidural and I took it HAPPILY. A couple hours passed and the next time they checked up on me I was at 10 cm and ready to push! What I didn't understand is why after finding out I was at 10 cm it took so long for anyone to come assist me in the pushing stage. It was probably an hour after they checked me that they actually told me to start pushing. It was annoying at the time, but I was on the epidural, so it's not like I was in much pain and I guess I shouldn't have minded. 

So, five hours of labor, 30 minutes of pushing, and a lot of glasses of orange-flavored ice chips later, Olivia was born! It was 8:32 pm and at the first sight of my precious baby girl I started bawling uncontrollably. I cried as the did the APGAR test in the corner (of which Olivia scored an 8 at birth and a 9 five minutes later, so thank goodness(!) the meconium didn't cause a problem) and I cried as they brought her to me. She was the most beautiful sight in the world!

Getting her tests done.

Olivia's grumpy face (probably one of my favorite pictures from the whole day!)

One happy mama!

Daddy's first time holding the baby!

Well the doctor wanted to keep us an extra day because of the meconium problem, and also when she was born they found a loose knot in the umbilical chord. Luckily everything was perfectly fine and after two days we went home. The first night at the hospital, Olivia slept the whole night through! She hasn't done that since, but we're hoping!  ;)

Here's To You: Consuela and her Tamales

I want to start a chain of blogs. I will call them "Here's to you..." These blogs will just be about people I meet or run into that I think deserve some mentioning and/or praise. This will be the first of what I hope to be many. 

So, here's to you Consuela!

A few weeks ago Bryce and I were at Walmart just doing some grocery shopping. Just as we were about to leave, a small old lady standing with a cart full of corn flour and chicken asked us, "Hablas español?" And for my spanish-challenged friends, "Do you speak spanish?" By the tone of her voice, you could tell she had asked this question to many people already. Bryce answered with a resounding yes, as just the other day we were talking about how we never really get a chance to practice spanish conversationally with others. Then Bryce and the small old lady spoke for a minute or two and she handed him a small piece of paper. Bryce came back to me and said, she needs a ride. On the piece of paper was her address.

As we walked out to our car (that hadn't been cleaned for much too long) and subsequently drove to her home, we made introductions and small talk. We found out that her name was Consuela and that she was from Mexico. She had lived in Utah for a short time, but oh how she loved it here - the temples were so close! She spoke very very fondly of the temples and the inspired work that goes on through those holy doors. We also found that her husband had been sick for a long time and that she makes tamales to sell every Wednesday and Friday. 

She was very sweet to us. When she found out that we were expecting she oo-ed and aww-ed and held my hand as tenderly as one would hold an injured dove. She wouldn't let me carry any of the groceries and gave me many well wishes. She was such a sweet spirit and she definitely lifted up our day to a new level of happiness. 

We got to her home not too many minutes later. It was a humble house, but you could tell that she loved it dearly. As we parted ways hugs flew all around, she wished us well many times, and told Bryce to take good care of me and not to let me lift anything. She invited us to her tamale stand and waved goodbye until we could no longer see her. 

What a sweet spirit and an amazing lady. Instead of leaning on the government or the church for financial support, she made her own little tamale business. She loved the temple. She loved people, strangers even. In fact, she radiated love. From the moment we met to the moment we departed she had nothing but kind and happy things to say, even though life had been hard on her. It was a blessing for us to meet her and be able to serve her in some small way. 

Finding the True Spirit of Motherhood

Seeing as both Bryce and I are simple poor college students, understandably we were worried about being financially stable enough to provide for a baby. Months passed and we accumulated almost nothing for our precious bundle of joy that is quickly approaching. My sweet mother was gathering supplies for us, though. The other day we received two tupperware containers full of baby clothes and a few other items. Everything we had, we owed to my mom and her sweetness. I am now 7 and a half months along and sure, I began to worry about being able to afford some of the big ticket items like a crib, carseat, and stroller (as such items aren't normally in our monthly budget). As I began thinking of ways that we might be able to make some extra money, my mind turned to the wedding dress sitting in the closet of the room that was to become the nursery. My heart was a little bit torn. Sure I would probably never wear it again, but it's a reminder of the best day of my life. I thought about it for a little while and soon enough I had my mind made up.

As I began to see selling my wedding dress as a sacrifice for my baby girl, it no longer seemed like a sacrifice at all. Selling my dress in order to afford a crib and/or travel system for my baby girl was certainly a worthy "sacrifice." So I took some pictures of the dress and posted an ad on ksl.com. Of course, before I ever posted the ad I did some research. I looked at other wedding dress advertisements on ksl as a reference point. I looked at all the prices and how long the ads had stayed online. I decided that I should go for a medium price, so I posted the dress for about half the price I bought it at. I thought it would be ages before I received any bites from this online ad. The Lord is good to us though, and I heard from a lady who wanted to purchase the dress the very next day. The exchange is currently in the works. I do have to say though, that I believe that God is a living and ever present being in our lives. He knows us and loves us. Bryce and I were doing some research as we looked for cribs and travel systems. We saw that Walmart is currently having a baby savings event and "what's on sale?" you might ask..? CRIBS AND TRAVEL SYSTEMS! Not only that, but I was almost certain that Bryce and I weren't going to be able to have a baby shower because we had just moved to a new place and hadn't really had a chance to make new friends yet. But, we just received news from my sweet mother-in-law that she would throw us a shower. We are blessed. I am grateful for this series of events, which I know would never had happened on its own, or because of pure coincidence.

The spirit of motherhood is a spirit of sacrifice. As mothers we sacrifice our own bodies and well being to carry our children for the better part of a year, and that's just the beginning. We sacrifice sleep and our well being in the early months, and so much more in the years following. I know this was a small and certainly insignificant sacrifice, but I feel like it's put me on the road to becoming a better mother.

A 3D sonogram image of our precious little girl.

Hobo In The Dumpster

You know, a couple of months ago Bryce and I were convinced that there was a homeless person who took refuge in the dumpster behind our apartment at night. There were many reasons we believed there was a hobo in the dumpster. The first being that we heard strange sounds coming from behind our apartment at night. Now, Bryce's work schedule is a little different. During school he's working part time as a package handler at UPS. For this job Bryce goes into work anywhere between 3 and 4 in the morning and he returns after 8 am. So, Bryce leaves for work pretty much in the middle of the night and he noticed that whenever he left for work the dumpster lid would be closed (probably for protection from the cold; although I don't know anyone who would be able to survive the smell) and when he returned from work the lid would once again be open. Bryce also reported that he heard strange sounds coming from the dumpster on these early morning commutes.

Bryce wasn't the only one hearing strange noises, though. One morning after Bryce had left for work and I had gone back to sleep, I was awoken by what sounded like someone whisking something in our kitchen. I was frightened by the sound, but I was also half asleep. Soon the sound passed and there was no homeless man standing at the foot of my bed with pancakes (or any other delicious breakfast food that would require a whisk) so I thought I was ok and I went back to sleep. When Bryce came home I told him about the noise I had heard, and how it had sounded like someone was in our home, or at least right outside our bedroom window. When I had gotten out of bed that morning though, I checked all the doors and everything was locked and safe. We were both a little freaked out by what had happened. We decided to wait it out and see if we heard anything like it again.

A few days later we realized that the sound was actually those garbage cans on wheels rolling in the gravel that is our "backyard." It seems as though our neighbor woke up nice and early to take the trash out on that one creepy night.

So now whenever we hear one of our neighbors rolling their garbage can out to the front we joke about the hobo whisking past our window. Now that the weather has heated up, though, I am proud to report that we no longer hear strange sounds coming from the dumpster and I am pretty sure that the homeless man found himself a nicer place to stay. Thankfully.

Getting To Know Little Olivia

One of my favorite things about being pregnant (besides how fast my hair grows and how for once in my life my nails actually look nice as they grow out) is getting to know my baby girl while she still resides in my ever expanding tummy. During the last few months I have been slowly but surely finding out a little more about my Olivia. I have tentatively come to find three things that she loves, and one she absolutely despises (and she's just like her mommy with these things!)

Olivia's likes:

1. Music ♫
There are many times when I find Olivia kicking along joyfully to music. For instance, last week Bryce and I went to his friend's concert. Jay and his band "Hydramat" were playing along with two other groups. Never in her life had Olivia been so lively as when those bands were playing. Not to mention it was probably the loudest thing she had ever heard. Olivia is also always kicking when Bryce and I are singing along to the radio in the car. And one thing that never fails (which I find hilarious), Bryce and I have this app on our ipad we sometimes play called "My Singing Monsters." In the game you slowly hatch more monsters that, well, sing. As you add more monsters the sound gets louder and more parts are added to the song. Whenever we play this game, even if our little olive had been sleeping for hours, Olivia starts stirring and kicking along happily to the beat. So pretty much, we already have a lullaby that we know she loves, haha.

2. The calming and touching feelings of the Holy Ghost
Lately I have been noticing that whenever I am feeling the spirit strongly, so is little Olivia. Whether it be during one of our temple trips, during my brother-in-law Spencer's patriarchal blessing, General Conference, or a touching Sacrament Meeting, when I feel the spirit stirring inside me, I also feel the precious stirrings of my baby girl. I believe she is very akin to the promptings of the spirit and I hope that stays with her throughout her life.

3. The voice of her daddy
I will never forget an experience I shared with my husband a couple of weeks ago. After I read Olivia a bedtime story, I mentioned to Bryce how Olivia was kicking up a storm. One of my favorite things ever is when Bryce talks to our little olive through my tummy. Well, at this time that is exactly what Bryce decided to do. He put his face so close that as he spoke his lips graced my belly. Bryce said something along the lines of, "Be nice to mommy. I love you Olivia." and just as he finished he received a loving, yet quite strong kick in the mouth, haha. Bryce jokes that Olivia "punched him in the face." What a tender moment. Our little girl recognizes the voice of her father and find comforts in it so much that she just wants to be nearer to the voice of that great man.

Already Olivia is so much like her mama. She loves music, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and Bryce! But the next similarity is uncanny!

Olivia's dislikes:

1. The cold.
Usually at our doctors appointments the gel they put on my belly before an ultrasound or to check on our baby's heartbeat is nice and warm, but this last appointment it wasn't. After a little bit of poking and prodding from the doctor to feel her size and position, he squeezed out a glob of cold gel onto my stomach in order to find the heartbeat. Almost immediately Olivia kicked, hard, right at the exact spot where the cold gel landed. As we heard the heartbeat of our precious little one, we also heard her kicks (as well as me feeling them). They were ferocious! Haha. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Olivia really likes to be cozy and warm. Oftentimes I am cuddling under a blanket and I can feel her soft and reassuring movements. Lately as she moves and kicks I am able to visibly see my stomach move. Bryce hasn't witnessed this quite yet, so whenever I feel her kicking I remove the blanket and tell Bryce to look. Always, every time, without fail, she stops kicking as soon as the blanket is removed and starts up again when it is replaced!

It is so neat to see how our little one already has a personality of her own. I love her so very much and I absolutely cannot wait to get to know her better as we introduce her into this world and she grows bigger (in a home that's not my stomach).

Our New Apartment

As some of you may know, Bryce and I just recently moved. On and off, for the duration of our marriage we lived in BYU married student housing, also known as Wymount Terrace. We absolutely LOVED our stay there. The ward was amazing, the neighbors were nice, the playground was right in front of our apartment, and visiting/home teaching took almost no effort at all since everyone lived within a hundred feet of each other, haha. There were a couple of downsides, though. The following are things we will not miss about Wymount:

• Cinder-block walls
• No dishwasher
• The teeny tiniest little bathroom ever (without counter tops)
• The "carpet"

All in all, though, our stay at Wymount was a blessing for the both of us. We made some great friends, found out a super fun dish washing routine, and got plenty of exercise taking groceries and laundry up three flights of stairs every day. 

The reason we moved from Wymount was because you have to be a "day continuing" student to live there. I am the one who attends BYU (Bryce is currently studying at UVU), and since our precious little Olivia will be making her appearance soon, I will probably not be a full time student again for quite some time. We moved early in the pregnancy so that I could actually help a little bit with the moving and so it wouldn't be so unbearable later on. 

For weeks Bryce and I looked for apartments that were pleasant and in our budget. We visited the ksl webpage often. We probably made appointments to visit 25 different apartments, some of which would fall through the day of as someone else had "just purchased it." After all the research, visits, and paperwork though, there were about three apartments that Bryce and I were considering. One of which we definitely wanted, but the landlords simply would not get back to us with a certain yes or no, another which we decided would be ok (if the first place didn't go through), and another which was our fallback plan. We really wanted a two-bedroom apartment so the baby (and my mom when she came to visit and help with the baby) could have their own space. The last apartment was a one bedroom, but it had a spacey living room. 

Anyways, it was super last minute, but just as we were making our decision the landlord from the first (our favorite) apartment called me and set us up with an appointment to come fill out the final paperwork! HOORAY!! And so the next day we got our new apartment and started moving in!

And here are some pictures for you!

Walking through the front door

Our living room/entertainment area

Our living room / computer corner
(We sorely need a desk, haha)

The Kitchen

Our little dining area

Our utility corner

The Hallway

Hallway closet

The bathroom (with counter tops!!)

Master Bedroom - the left side

Master bedroom - the right side

The baby's room
AKA
The unpacking room 

Well, we absolutely love our new little apartment. The walls are still bare and we have hardly any furniture, but with some time this place will look  more and more like home. I'll leave you guys today with a little virtual tour for your viewing pleasure.